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LittleAngryFinn
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Name: Jane
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Cleveland
Birthday: 7/31/1986
Interests: World Music, NPR, CIM, Laser Tag, peace, feeling guilty, spending time with family, isolation.
Expertise: Dancing in parking lots to funk music, getting by, being short, organizing, and dominating tests.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  LittleAngryFinn
Member Since:
12/28/2003
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| I REALLY DON'T WANT TO FINISH THIS PAPER YAAAAUUUGGGGHHHHHHH
Yes, Michaelangelo, it's quarter after 11 and I haven't finished it yet. But I'm getting there. My teacher can wait another hour; she's waited a few weeks already.
A note to everyone:
I now intend to further confuse you about my plans for the future. Please feel free to not read. I'm likely to change my plan within a week.
I've been accepted to Cleveland State (whew, I was worried). Next semester, I plan to take some courses downtown at CSU and some CSU courses at Lakeland (CSU-Kirtland campus). I will pursue my bachelor's degree in Business Something, probably Administration, since that seems like a good'un.
As per my current perspective, I will join the PeaceCorps, doing some wholesome humanitarian work. Hopefully, I will develop a resumee that allows me a fluid transition into a management position in a non-profit organization. If I decide that business isn't my thing, and I like planting trees more than bossing people around, I'll get a two year environmental science degree, or some other two-year technical degree in the field of natural sciences, and pursue that endeavor for a bit. Or I'll find something else to do. I don't need to decide on that right now.
*I was introduced to the idea of the PeaceCorps this past Christmas when friends of the family sent us a Christmas card/newsletter letting us know that their son, out of undergrad work, went to South America with the PeaceCorps and began planting trees for 27 months. When I heard about this, I almost cried; it was just the best thing I could imagine. It would be a dream come true. Yes, the weather might not be optimal, the food might not be optimal, the living conditions and safety might not be optimal, but there are benefits in my mind. "Hand-in-hand with nature" is the way I have always dreamed of living my life; I've always loved the idea of volunteerism and humanitarian work, hearing about missionary expeditions but not liking the concept of religious conflicts face-to-face; I thirst for knowledge and experience of some part of the world other than the Midwest and figure PeaceCorps would be not such a scary choice, as they would have a plan set out for me, so I wouldn't be going there and fending for myself with one of my own plans that will inevitably fall through. PeaceCorps, how I see it, with my rose-tinted glasses, is what I want to do with my life. It just seems like my niche. Especially the environmental stuff.
I don't know if I've informed my Xanga correspondents (and I'm too lazy to check) that I've been having anxiety attacks lately. They're not a fun set of circumstances. Luckily, I feel they'll be less frequent after my sister's wedding in ten days and one hundred forty-four minutes, the completion of this effing paper that I'm putting off at this very moment, and the repair of my schedule at work (third shift is making me quite ill, not eating well, constant nausea, propensity to sleep during classes). WARNING: EMO CONTENT --- Also, I've been working on controlling my anxiety with fun coping methods, mostly meditative breathing, regular cardiovascular exercise, muscle relaxation stretches, and, as I call it, mind rebooting. These processes help me to become better in touch with myself, more aware of my actions, reactions, thought processes, emotions, and perceptions. --- EMO TRANSMISSION COMPLETE
Right now I'm beginning to feel irresponsible for procrastinating (instead of just feeling like it was inevitable and I was a victim, as I have for the previous nineteen years) and am feeling an urge to complete my paper, and maybe edit it again before turning it in. Also in my plan of action includes writing a wedding toast for my sister, which luckily will double as the Occasional Speech presentation in my two o'clock class. You don't have to wish me luck, but it would be nice. 
Love you all.
Jane | | |
| WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND GUNS?! WHY DO SO MANY OF MY PEERS THINK GUNS AND SHOOTING AND WEAPONS AND VIOLENCE ARE COOL??????
This is starting to drive me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. I have been raised in an anti-gun family, my mom donates to support gun control, guns are deadly weapons, I've never touched one and never want to, etc. I DON'T GET IT. I really don't. What is the fascination with guns around here?!?!!
I'm getting so sick of hearing about guns; I just get disgusted when the topic is mentioned. It disgusts me just as much as does religious intolerance. And if you know me, that is the hugest issue to me.
If anyone can provide me with some insight, please do. Let me know how you or someone you know has learned to love guns, if you were raised that way, if it was a certain experience, or ANY helpful information. This is highly unsettling to my being.
Thanks.
Love, Jane | | |
| I have to do it. You know how it is. These little fill-out thingies just suck you in. And my mom almost has dinner ready and I'm still at school.
TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Mallory Gregor
First Screen Name: JaneL731
First Pet: Baby, a parakeet. The other ones were my sister's hamsters that bit me, so they don't count.
First Piercing: ears, 14
First Crush: Jeremy Damore, lol
First CD: that's a good question... crap. I think I'm going to have to say a summer mix cd that had the Macarena on it. Unfortunately, while listening to the cd, I realized it wasn't the real Macarena, it was by some cheap-o knockoffs because the company must've not been able to pay for the rights for the original radio version. *sigh*
First Car: 95 Geo Tracker -- heck yeah.
First Stuffed animal: Teddy - and I still sleep with him every once in a while.
NINE LASTS
Last Beverage: Water, drinking fountain.
Last Car ride: to school, this morning, two-thirds asleep and seven-eighths cranky.
Last Movie Seen: That movie with Denzel Washington about the heist thing at the Fed.
Last Phone Call: Mom, she just phoned in to tell me to come home and eat dinner before band.
Last Cd Played: Standard Time Vol. 4 - Marsalis Plays Monk (Wynton.. duh)
Last Bubble Bath: about a week and a half ago. it should've been tuesday though, cuz i was sick.
Last time you Cried: 2 nights ago
Last thing you ate: trail mix bar... mmmmmmmm
Last bad thing you did: not leave to go home for dinner yet
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: ehh, no
Have you ever been arrested? no
Have you ever skinny dipped: nah
Have you ever been on tv: yep
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? of course not. no regrets, baby.
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? mmhmm
Have you ever cheated? yep
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. blue zip-up hoodie
2. maroon paper-thin blouse
3. sage green cordouroys
4. maroon space-dyed socks
5. vic's underwears
6. vic's bra
7. favorite brown reeboks
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. wasted time online
2. made up four quizzes I'd missed due to illness
3. looked at the americorps and peace corps websites
4. put my pants on like everybody else
5. barely eaten
6. not had an anxiety attack...yet
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. happiness
2. fulfillment
3. love
4. respect
5. understanding
<hahah you didn't expect that from me!!!!>
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO
1. Kate "Hodges"
2. Sugs
3. Capriato
4. Criswell (no shit?!)
THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: white
2. Hot or Cold: cold
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate today
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Ethnomusicological studies...or just learning to play tabla in India (Thanks Ray Spiegel!! lol)
2. Look really good, like be all fit and skin cleared up and wearing a good wardrobe.
ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. to inform you about trivial parts of my life
About my book choice - I don't care that it's all made up. That's what fiction is about. It keeps my mind in one place, so I like it.
About my plans - yeah. hahahahahha you know by now that my plans last for maybe, oh, three weeks, tops. Well, for sure, I want to go into the Peace Corps. That's my ultimate goal. So right now, college isn't such a huge freaking anxiety. Except it still is, lol. But that's a completely different story, isn't it?
Thanks for being a loyal reader/listener/stalker. | | |
| Make a list of 15 statements about yourself.
* 5 of the 15 statements must be LIES
* Post your list and have people guess which five are lies!
1. I'm not willing to take a job in the medical field.
2. I hate horror movies, especially ones with zombies.
3. With YSUSWE, I played my clarinet at Carnegie Hall last March.
4. My biggest passion lies in ethnomusicology.
5. I took tap lessons from preschool to fourth grade.
6. I still haven't ridden Millenium Force.
7. Using only one alarm clock will not wake me.
8. I've never had more than four animals at a time.
9. I have made out with a gay man.
10. I've never puked from drinking.
11. Online shoe shopping can keep me occupied for hours.
12. On a good day, I take eight pills.
13. I am severely spatially impaired.
14. I love organizing and cleaning because they are therapeutic and zenlike.
15. My belongings dominate three rooms in my parents' house.
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| And now... what you've all been waiting for...
YOINKS!!!;
Another boring update recapping vaguely the goings-on of the past two-plus months through tonight's emotional filter.
*Both of my sisters are getting married. My sister Kate, the
middle child, is getting hitched in exactly one month and 15
hours. My eldest sister, Ellorie, will be getting married July
8th.
*Both of my parents are going to Physical Therapy. My mom for
tennis elbow, and my dad for his knee. These ailments are
particularly problematic for each of them, for my dad plays hockey,
involving extensive knee movement, and my mom crafts in numerous ways,
many of which involve extensive elbow and forearm movement.
*My current college plan, which has not been particularly acted upon,
is to attend Cleveland State next semester - and hopefully that will be
my final decision for undergraduate work! I have yet to stick
with a decision on a major. I've been skating around Mathematics
- Actuary Science; Business - Finance; Economics; Accounting. Of
course advice has come from all fronts, and I'm still having problems
filtering all of it to my personal preference and prospective
lifestyle. I continue to have an immense interest in World Music
and am considering this sector of academia as, at the very least, a
minor. I wouldn't mind pursuing this as a career, but the market
is limited. Considering my varying interests, I won't narrow my
focus just yet.
*Although time is limited, I have a newfound interest in politics and
newly instilled interests in the economy and international
relations. This can be credited to my Macroeconomics teacher, Dr.
Aylsworth, who not only has excellent lecturing skills, but assigns
interesting and enlightening homework. Each week we have to read
and analyze The Wall Street Journal. And I never thought I'd be
interested in the real estate bubble!
*Tucker is just as annoying as can be, and this anecdote should
illustrate why. About a week ago, while my mother was out of town
and my dad was preparing for the days' work ahead of him, Tucker snuck
out the back door into the garage. Of course, this was around the
time when Dad was taking trips out to his van, so the garage door was
open. Thusly, Tucker escaped into the rainy bleary day.
Note to readers: Tucker is an exclusively indoor cat, with no claws or
sense of self-defense, and is especially out-of-shape. I woke up
about five hours later (I didn't have school) confused as to why the
little bugger hadn't been meowing and rowling at me from 10am
onward. I searched and searched, to no avail. Around two
o'clock, I was on the phone with my mom and mentioned how I hadn't seen
the cat lately. As I was strolling past the sliding glass door, I
took a chance peek out the blinds. Yes, as you could imagine, I
was alarmed by the sight before me. There was the flabby black
cat, with matted, wet fur, spooked, looking like a typical halloween
sillhouette with the arched back and hair on end. If you can
imagine his hair being wet down while being on end, you're right with
me. Of course, seeing Tuck, first of all outside and second of
all in the muckpit that had become of a patio-side garden, I scolded
the cat and he immediately rushed inside. Let me tell you, this
cranky wet muddy cat did not enjoy being towel-dried. Although he
was in a hurry to return to the dry warm of the living room, apparently
his excursion outside left quite an impression on him. Whenever
anyone approaches a door to the outside of the house, he sits there and
meows as loud as he can, non-stop. He sounds like a howling
broken record. "Rowwlll, Rowwlll, Rowwlll, Rowwlll" etc.
The best part is the fact that he doesn't respond quickly to our
shouting at him to shut up. And he seems to ignore the fact that
every time he asks us to be let out, it's the same result: we don't
allow him outside. See, if in the first place he had complied to
the use of a leash, then we would be more than happy to let him outside
under proper supervision. Sure he's a pain in the butt, but we'd
rather keep him and his annoyances inside than have him take a tryst
outside and get slapped in the face by nature.
That is all for now.
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